Grammy fail and Zour friends

I sit here on my futon, hunched over my laptop, in awe of how unbearable the last three and a half hours have been.

I was really looking forward to the Grammys, mainly for some Gaga and such. But after her opening performance, the show just like couldn't have gotten any better, so it basically just went downhill. It's a shame because I was counting on the Grammys to uplift my spirits.

After the first hour or so, it started to get painful. Like, 'taking-a-pencil-and-wanting-to-poke-your-eyes-out' painful. Although, I guess it would still be bad after that, because you could still hear the madness, and you'd have no eyeballs.

Thank God I had my trusty box of delicious Zours at hand. They got me through this devastating occurrence. So thank you, Zours, thank you.

And I know it's pathetic, but music reminds me of him. And I'm not just talking about a song here and there. No. Music in general. It's pathetic, crazy, and unhealthy. I know, I'm aware of this. I'm working on it, I really am.

I think it'd be a whole lot worse if I didn't have such wonderful friends around who are helping me--or at least trying to help me. I think I've gotten closer to my big sister in the past week than I have in my entire life. I've met people in the past month who are the nicest and most caring friends I've ever had in my entire life.

Even though I am struggling through this devastation to reform myself, I know I'd be a whole lot worse if I didn't have those people. And even though they may think I'm some delusional, naive, stupid girl who doesn't listen to anything they say, I really need them around right now. And I'll need them around after all this is over and done with.

So just like my box of Zours got me through the most painful Grammys to date, my friends will get me through my most painful heartbreak to date.

Hang in there for me, guys. I'm trying.

It's time

It's time yet again for another blog.

If I recall correctly this is my...1st...2nd...3rd...4th...5th...6th...7th...8th blog. (I should scour the internet to find all my old ones.)

My first two were Xangas. Oh good ol' Xanga. My first experience with sharing my thoughts with my friends as well as the world. So much drama. I then had like three Blogspots (here, here, here). I also had a LiveJournal that I wrote in once (here...pretty profound what I had to say...) So that was good. And now I currently have a Tumblr, which I use to let out the most violent anger rants. I haven't really shared the link with anyone, so don't even ask. Haha.

So why am I starting another blog? There's really no point, and I'll be the first to admit it. There's really no point for ANYONE to start a blog. It's just a way for egotistical people to type out some intelligent-sounding bull honkey and think people care about what they have to say, furthering their already increasing head size.

I'm starting a blog for the sole purpose that I can sort out my current thoughts. And if other people read it, awesome. If you're reading this, maybe I can affect your life or help you for a mere second with one insignificant word or sentence. In fact, it would make me very happy if people read this and could relate to the things I'm saying. Feel free to leave a comment if something in particular stands out to you.

It's time to reform myself after the devastation known as utter and total heartbreak.

So here you go, you small world. Take me for who I am.